A story of spirit and life

Jabe at Christmas (maybe 2009?) with a Blood Pressure Monitor

Jabez Richard Bacon was feisty, cantankerous, outspoken and, at times, simply delightful and he was my dad.

On Wednesday, January 2, 2013(probably around 5:00 am), he joined St. Peter for their first game, of many to come, of golf.  He was 94.  Many of my friends would not have known his name, Jabe.  It is a bit unusual.  It is really a nickname for Jabez.  He said when he was a child and someone asked him his name, he would punch them first and tell them his name later!  He was a third generation Jabez and passed that name on to his eldest son - although, my oldest brother has always gone by his middle name, Robert (Rusty).  Imagine living with the names Jabez and Bacon???

Once he retired (at 62), he taught himself French using my college French textbook, taught himself BASIC computer language (this was back in the early 1990's!), and he learned to draw (and eventually paint) by reading "Drawing on the right side of the brain".  He also spent time, during his 80th decade learning German, Italian and Spanish using a computer program called "Languages of the World".   He stayed in touch with some of his golfing buddies using email and even bought a scooter when he was 90 (he thought it cost less to ride that to the golf course than driving his car!).  We do not need to mention the accident he had that caused my brother Terry to buy it from him!

Granddaughter Mary

Grandson Patrick, and Granddaughter Catherine

Sonia (Patrick's wife), Dad, Joel and a very silly Jack!

He was fortunate to have been alive (and have his wits about about him) to see his grandchildren grow-up to be wonderful, productive and the most delightful adults.  Even the current generation of great-grandchildren (thank you Patrick and Sonia and Catherine and Brimm) had some opportunity to see his love of life and laughter!  He loved them all very much! 


 The "generations" pictures (below) are of Jabe, Terry (my brother), Patrick (the 1st born grandson) and Patrick's children, Jack and Joel.  I should mention that Jack and Joel are 11(almost 12) and 9 respectively!  I certainly can not be THAT old!

1st Great-Grandson, Jack - 1st 4 generations picture!

2nd Generations Picture (this one includes Joel!)

The two attached movies are a bit more bittersweet.  They show the 'newest' member of the Bacon clan, Estelle Pearl Bacon Walker and her mom, Catherine, just this past summer with Jabe while he was eating Cheerios, Fruit Loops (yes, I said Fruit Loops!) or oatmeal (made according to Jabe's specific instructions!).

Listen carefully - to the last one in particular - because we were all expected to mow the lawn, mop the floors or otherwise pay for our keep well before reaching 4 months!

Solomon, Catherine, Brimm, Stella and Alice (the dog)

For some reason, no one seems to have a picture of Catherine's husband, Brimm and his son Solomon with Jabe, but I know he enjoyed their visits and got a kick out of Solomon.  He really did have way with kids!  A funny story about the day Brimm and Catherine were married.  Jabe was not able to travel to the wedding (held in Austin, Texas), but through the wonders of Patrick and some technology, Jabe and I were able to see the wedding via Google.  I was so thankful that Patrick was wise enough to mute the voice, because Jabe kept up a steady 'conversation' with the wedding party during the ceremony. 

My dad was a great storyteller.  We just found a recording of him talking about moving back to Michigan from California when my brother Rusty was just a baby and, I think, my mom was pregnant with my brother Mike. Listening to that was very cool. As members of my family have shared the news of his death, I have been struck over and over again with all the stories my cousins have shared about him and his antics (and, this comes from my mom's side of the family, nonetheless!). 

He used his Kindle to read the Grand Rapids Press and Detroit Free Press online as well as keeping up on the all the "important" sports scores (Lions, Tigers, and Red Wings). He never really got the hang of a cell phone, though.   He was a avid golfer and golfed everyday (from April thru October) until about 4 years ago. While his body was giving out on him - mostly his knees and his heart - his mind was still as sharp as a tack and he was a voracious reader.  In early December 2012, he was still able to recite the poem by Rudyard Kipling, Gunga Din.  Something he did regularly and OFTEN when I was child.  "oh no, not again" was a constant refrain of mine!

Engagement Picture (Pat and Jabe)

Most of you may not be able to remember a time when women who wore 'slacks' in public were disdained or when women were discouraged from attending college.  My mom was 19 when she and my dad were married and they had 5 babies during the 14 subsequent years!  When she was 40-ish, she decided to go to college.  This was in the mid-1960's when that sort of thing was frowned upon. My dad supported her efforts when many other men in our neighborhood were not as supportive of their wives.  He was a great representative for the 'male side' of the feminist movement.  He was unique for his time.

He enjoyed visits from his children (and grand-dogs too!), but I always thought he was just as happy when we left!  

Jabe with Sister-in-law, Sandi

Rusty (Jabez IV), Catherine, Sunny (my dog), Mike and Jabe

Jabe and Sunny watching the Empire Anchor Day Parade!

Catherine, Trish (my sister) and Jabe

I am very glad that I was able to time to spend with my dad in mid-December for about a week.  He was clearly declining, but he was still reading his Kindle and watching Rawhide on Encore!  As we sat watching TV together, I was able to convince him to let Hospice come in to relieve some of his pain. 

However, my brother Terry and, his wife, Sandi deserve an extra special mention.  They completely rearranged their home this fall so that he would be more close at hand. And, while Hospice of Grand Rapids was wonderful, both of them were 100% 'there' for for him during his last days with us!  Their son, Patrick, also went above and beyond what any grandson should be expected to do!   I think of this as both a tribute to them and a reflection of their love for dad/father-in-law/grandpa.  He left behind something he had written that Terry came across on the day of his death.  Whatever it was, it ended with "when I go, I will do so kicking and screaming".  Little did he know how prophetic that statement was.  Until his last two or three days, he was determined to walk/drive (using his power chair) on his own. We actually had to unplug the power chair at one point to stop the insanity of bumping into walls and furniture. But, that was my dad - independent and fiesty as them come!

There is a 'version' of an Irish blessing that I recall Dad reciting:

Profile of Joel, Jabe and Terry watching sports, I'll bet!

May the road rise up to meet you, may the wind always be at your back.
May the sun shine warm upon your face and rains fall soft upon your fields.
May you make it to heaven an hour before the Devil knows you're dead!

(the 'real last line' is:
And until we meet again, may God hold you in the palm of His hand.
But, that was so NOT my dad!)



Services have been postponed until July when all of his grandchildren and great grandchildren as well as his friends up north will be able to attend.